Thinking About Weird Stuff
by Coastal Records
Summary: David Mills Schwarber thought his 18th birthday would've been normal like every other teenagers. But like most things in his life, it's not that simple. Carmen/David one shot, not canon to anything.


...

Thinking About Weird Stuff

...

David Anthony Mills-Schwarber loved all things 80s. So naturally, when Daniel set him and Robby to wax on and wax off every car in Miyagi-Do, he blasted 'St. Elmos Fire' at full volume.

"Come on Robbs! Dance man!"

The son of his idol Johnny Lawrence, rolled his eyes as David danced awkwardly as he waxed on and off. Daniel couldn't help but chuckle as he watched his neighbor and son of his ex-girlfriend pick up Robby's hands and try to get him to dance. While he certainly was new in town, he was definitely strange.

"Take me where my future's lying in St Elmo's fire!" David shouted as Robby refused to dance with him with awkward chuckles.

They practiced everything in Miyagi-Do that day. The kata on the board on the pond, the painting, and even the bonsai clipping. At the end of the day, Daniel said his goodbyes to his two male students and Robby and David walked away from Mr. Miyagi's old home.

"So...you need a ride back home man?"

Robby looked around awkwardly, "Reseda's on the other side of town from where you live man. Why would you want to do that?"

"Ah come on, gives us a chance to get to know each other a little better."

"Yeah." Robby gave a 'smile', "Great."

As David drove Robby towards his mothers home in his shiny new Mazda, he spoke to him, "So...you and Sam? You two make out yet?"

"Wh-What?" Robby laughed nervously, "Dude we're not even together."

David looked at him implying 'you serious?'

"Dave we're not!"

"Ok...ok..."

Robby leaned backward in his seat, "Look man Mr. LaRusso'd be pissed if we went out together."

"She dated Miguel and he never cared."

"Because he never knew." Robby pointed out, "Besides what'd you care? Thought all you wanted to be was my dad anyway."

"Hey! That is not true!" David put his index finger off the steering wheel.

Robby busted out the glove compartment and out flopped David's Cobra Kai GI. Robby looked at him and raised a confident eyebrow, "Not true huh?"

"Okay so I look up to him so what? How do you even know that?"

"You don't hold back when we spar. You always attack first. You yell too much when you strike...and I almost caught you calling me 'Sensei...' Be glad Mr. LaRusso didn't catch you."

David waved a hand, "Ach! Who cares?"

"It's weird man...you trying to dance with me...I think it's..."

"What, you think it's what?"

Robby chuckled out his words, "It's honestly pretty gay man."

"Hey...I said no homo."

"Dave you look up to my dad as some sort of idol-"

"How do you know this?"

"Because man, you won't stop asking me stuff about him. From the moment you met me, that's all you'd talk about. Johnny Lawrence, Johnny Lawrence, Johnny Lawrence...you ARE gay Dave!"

David braked at the red light, "I'm turning 18 tomorrow...I'm gonna go out...and I'm not just gonna get laid...I'm gonna bang a milf."

Robby was set off laughing out of his seat next to David in his car, "You...You..." He couldn't stop laughing, "You? Mr. I'm gonna dance to 80s music like a loser? Dude...no way."

"I'm gonna bang Miguel's mom. Boom, no joke I will!"

Robby was dying, "Dude...dude you're gonna kill me!" He coughed for breath and closed his eyes, "Miguel Diaz's mom...yeah right."

"I swear man I'm gonna get laid tomorrow."

Robby gave a long sigh out of his laugh, "Yeah...no way. Dave, I swear if you get laid, I'll...make out with Sam."

"Wow!" David gave a sarcastic gasp, "You will?...oh my god you're gonna do something you were gonna do anyway?...get outta here..."

"I wasn't...I...actually kind of respect Sam."

"You barely know each other! You just give each other the lovey dovey eyes all day!"

Robby looked aside with an eye roll and the two eventually reached Robby's house.

"See you later...casanova!" Robby walked away laughing at David's awkwardness as he drove off back toward his home.

...

The next day, Ali spoke to her son as he prepared to drive off, "Where you going hun?"

"To Miguel Diaz's house...I gotta talk to him about some deep stuff ma."

Ali smiled, "Drive safe Dave. Oh wait!"

He turned around, "Yeah?"

"Do you want me to throw you a birthday party tommorow? We could invite the LaRusso's from across the street, we could invite a ton of people."

David shrugged, "Why not?...see ya ma!"

Her son smiled back and left toward Reseda from his house in Encino. Nighttime had already fallen and David was training hard with Johnny, who pressed him harder than ever now that he earned his white belt.

Johnny even set him up against a pitching machine and David was doing terribly.

"Oh my god Mills stay focused!" the blonde man groaned as he set more baseballs to fly toward David.

"Yes Sensei!"

David took a couple more, barely being able to avoid or block and Johnny sighed as he turned the pitching machine off, "Something up with you today Mills?"

"Er...no Sensei."

Johnny looked at him.

"Well...there is this one chick...well she's more like a woman."

"Ah...she hot?"

"Very. I haven't really talked to her, I only saw her pick up Miguel from school a few times."

Johnny's smile slid off his face as if Kreese had walked through the door and threw him against a mirror, "What."

"Y-Yeah..." David scratched the back of his neck, "Carmen Diaz...she seems pretty nice."

"She's...she's twice your age Mills."

"Yeah I know...but I just became legal today so..."

"Oh er...happy birthday Mills."

David nodded, "Thanks Sensei...so what should I say to her?"

"Um...I don't know..." Johnny looked away, "Forget about it...run laps before I end class."

"Yes Sensei!"

Johnny watched as David ran laps, throwing random punches and kiyais as he ran. That poor kid, he thought to himself, was gonna get his heart broken.

...

Johnny Lawrence loved Coors Banquets as much as he loved 80s films. Rambo mowed down as he chuckled and watched the television. However, something in the corner of his eye was strange, his secret student had snuck up to the door across the hall from him.

Johnny was sure he was a bit drunk, but he didn't know why David decided to walk up to Carmen Diaz's house. He looked through the crappy white blinds of his house to see David making sure his brown hair was completely clean and he even checked his breath by smelling it.

"The hell you doing kid?..." Johnny asked himself as David fixed his tie and button up shirt as he rang the doorbell.

Johnny held the doorknob to his house as he heard David and Carmen speak. He wanted to talk to the kid, get him to run before he got his heart flattened...or maybe he wanted to talk to Carmen before the kid did...

But it didn't matter, David had learned well from him...he struck first.

"Hi! Mrs. Diaz! How're you doing?"

"Er...do I know you?...oh...I recognize you from Miguel's school!" Carmen pointed at him, "David right?"

"Y-Yeah, Miguel might've mentioned me I tutor him in math...er...I wanted to talk to you about him actually, you mind if I come in?"

Carmen nodded and let David admire the inside of her apartment, "Huh...very nice place Mrs. Diaz."

"Thank you...sit please."

David kept looking around her home as he took a seat at her dining room table and mumbled, "Er...is Miguel here?"

"No he's staying at his friends house...Hawk I believe. Strange boy."

"Y-Y-Yeah..." David laughed, "I'd say so...look about Miguel, he's a great guy, but everyone at school started holding him up as a hero ever since-"

"Saludos hija!" Rosa waved at her daughter as she walked past David.

"Who was that?"

"My mother, she's taking the bus to Bingo, it's a Friday." Carmen nodded, "Please continue."

David cleared his throat, hands moving on the table as he explained, "He's a great guy don't get me wrong...but everyone at school idolizes him and thinks he's awesome ever since he won the tournament."

"But...you didn't come into town before the tournament did you?"

David looked at Carmen across the table.

"Miguel told me."

"Anyway...I've been going to Cobra Kai ever since I got here in secret because I don't want my other karate teacher to think less of me...but Sensei Johnny feels disappointed in Miguel. And he's not allowed to tell him."

"Why?" Carmen looked at him.

"There's a new man at the dojo, Sensei's Sensei...Sensei John Kreese."

"Oh." Carmen nodded again.

"Anyway, Miguel's been angrier lately, and I'm afraid that my twin sister Tory has been a bad influence on him."

Carmen looked at him, "Twin?"

"Yeah...long story short, she ran away from home and refuses to speak to my mother. She...doesn't like me." David shrugged, "And I think that Miguel will be lead somewhere pretty bad if he doesn't calm down...he's even letting his friend Hawk bully my friend Demitri."

"R-Really?" Carmen looked shocked.

"My friend Sam told me Miguel hit her on accident." He saw Carmen's face and shook his head, "It's not what you think, the whole thing was a misunderstanding. When was the last time you spoke to your son Mrs. Diaz?"

"Today."

"No but really talked to him, about how he was feeling and so on?"

Carmen stayed silent and David opened his mouth to have Carmen cut him off, "Why do you care? What do you stand to gain from helping my son?"

"I used to be like him. Back in Denver I used to be made fun of all the time, and I let out some of that anger and drove away the people around me...that's part of the reasons why Tory ran away."

Carmen covered her mouth, "Oh my god..."

"Yeah...anyway, I'd hate for him to end up like I did. He's a nice guy from what Sam told me, and I think that he deserves to be happy. So do me a favor and talk to him okay?"

"Of course. Thank you for coming." Carmen smiled.

David stood up but hesitated, "You know what Mrs. Diaz...I'm pretty new in town and haven't really met anyone outside of school...you mind if I stay and chat with you for a little bit?"

"Er...sure."

The two eventually moved to the couch to speak and David muttered to Carmen, "So yeah, I er...turned 18 today. Or, after the medical record my mom showed me, a few hours ago."

"Congratulations! Happy birthday."

"Y-Yeah. My mom wants to throw a big party tomorrow to celebrate...but I didn't want to tell her no...so what do you work as?"

"A nurse."

"A nurse? My parents are doctors."

"Really?" Carmen raised her eyebrows as she sipped some wine from a glass, "Who are they?"

"Ali and Gregory Schwarber."

Carmen swallowed her wine as she put her glass down, "I know them they just moved into where I work. Your mother is a very pretty woman."

"Thank you...that's a curious accent where are you from?"

Carmen made eye contact with David, "Ecuador."

"Is it...hot there?"

"Yes very hot."

"Why'd you move?"

Carmen shook her head, "Personal reasons. I'd rather not say."

"Ah...well I think that nursing is a fine profession. Especially for a woman as...motherly as yourself."

"You think nurses should be motherly?"

"Well when I think of a mother I think of someone who is kind and caring and thoughtful. But still, someone who wants the best for whoever she's a mother for. My parents have wanted me to study medicine for a long time and I think that if it weren't for them I wouldn't be half the person I was."

Carmen agreed, "Yes parents play a big part in their children's lives."

"Yeah I mean...look at Miguel. Everyone at school thinks he's funny and strong ever since he took up karate but no one ever realized he probably took his kindness from you."

Carmen giggled somewhat girlish-ly, "Why do you think I'm kind?"

David turned around to the doorway, "The way you invited me into your home, listened so intently as to what I had to say, and decided to do me a favor. I think it's more than common courtesy to be so patient. Most people can't stand listening to me."

"Hm...well thank you."

David took the moment to admire Carmen's face. She had very nice cheekbones David had to admit, even though that was the strangest thing David decided to describe first. Her hair was very pretty along with the general appearance of her face and her eyes, David couldn't stop looking at those beautiful brown orbs of hers.

He cleared his throat and stood up, "It's er...getting late, I should head back home before my mom starts worrying."

Carmen smiled again, making David feel a bit of butterflies in his stomach, "It was wonderful talking to you David."

"Y-Yeah...thanks Mrs. Diaz." David nodded and she walked him to her door.

As he stood outside in the apartment hall, David gulped, "Goodbye Mrs. Diaz."

"Goodbye David, feel free to come by and talk to me anytime okay?" Carmen offered very kindly.

David saw the way she said this and remembered what his Senseis taught him. After David failed to straight punch like he taught him how, Johnny yelled at him.

_'When you see an opportunity to attack you better commit Mills! One hundred and twenty percent!'_

Daniel's softer voice played in his head.

_'When you go into strike, be patient and hard with your hand. Wait for when the moment is right and strike with balance.'_

David raised a finger as Carmen closed the door, "Wait! Mrs. Diaz."

"Yes?" she opened it slowly.

David held Carmen's arm lightly as he leaned in and kissed her. Her eyes widened as David's closed and he pulled away, "S-Sorry...just been wanting to do that for a decent bit."

She looked at him with a smile, "That's all right."

He saw the look in her eyes and decided to kiss her again, but this time they closed their eyes together as they kissed. When David pulled away, he looked at her, "Wait...why don't you want me to stop?"

"I think that it takes some compassion to drive out here out of concern for my son...besides, you're somewhat handsome and I haven't done something like this in a very long time." Carmen admitted as she brushed David's brown bangs off his forehead.

"O-Oh...well should I come inside?" David asked.

She nodded with a smile and David closed the door behind him. The two resumed kissing on her couch and Carmen was a bit distraught about how horrible David was at using his tongue when kissing her.

"H-Have you..." Carmen looked at an incredulous David, "Have you ever kissed a girl?"

"Once. Yasmine Mitchell decided to kiss me at a school dance a few weeks ago for Homecoming. But she was pretty drunk and I turned her down."

"Hm...standards..." Carmen leaned into kiss Ali's son again as he pulled back.

"What?"

She laughed, "I don't know...seems like you've been thinking about this all night and you drove out here to do so."

"Y-Yeah but." David drew his phone and opened Ali's contact, "Sorry, gotta tell my mom I'm playing video games with Miguel until tomorrow."

"Hypocrite." David yelped in surprise as Carmen drew herself onto the boy and pressed him against her couch with her mounted on top of him, "You talk to me about mothers and yet you lie to yours?"

"What, do you want me to tell her I'm gonna be with you?"

Carmen looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "Who said you'd be staying here?"

David kept making eye contact with those lovely brown orbs he loved looking at, "Well you did bring me into your house after kissing you Mrs. Diaz..."

She giggled as she circled her hand around his unshaven face, "Call me Carmen sweetheart."

She leaned over to kiss him holding the side of his face, his lips wandering from hers to dig into her neck. Carmen kept straddling him as she stood up straighter and pulled her shirt off. David gulped at the sight of her smooth skin, stuttering slightly, "Wh-What time does your mother come back?" he looked up to her from ogling her body.

"Soon..." Carmen eyed the clock in her kitchen, "Which is why we should hurry this up."

David tried to form words but failed as Carmen took him off the couch by his hand, her holding it in the one that wasn't holding her shirt. As she was leading him to her bedroom, David was lost in an awe of what he knew was about to happen.

...

The following morning, David found Carmen Diaz lying naked in his arms as he was equally clothed as well. He came to slowly, light from the shutters of Carmen's bedroom falling on his eyelids. He woke up fully and rubbed his eyes, "H-Hey Mrs. D...Carmen."

She smiled up at him as she awoke, David smiling at her beauty as she pecked him on the lips and stood up straighter to talk to him, "Good morning David."

"Good morning...Mrs. Diaz." The two laughed quietly.

"You're funny." Carmen blinked and David refused to stop looking into her eyes as she brushed his hair back, "I hope to see you again soon."

David looked around Carmen's bedroom, "I know I'm new to this but...can we do this again?"

"Perhaps...depends on how I'm feeling in the next few weeks."

"No, I mean..." David intertwined his fingers with hers, "I mean seeing each other. I really like seeing you."

"Me too David."

David nodded slowly, "My mom's throwing me a birthday party today. Maybe you can bring Miguel and your mom."

Carmen brushed her thumb against David's hand, "I think Miguel wouldn't like seeing his ex-girlfriend or any of the people your mother'd invite."

"How'd you know about my mom?"

"Miguel told me about who your mother is. Said 'Sensei said his mom was Ali, his ex girlfriend who ran off with that loser LaRusso." Carmen smiled at him and David pecked her on the lips.

"My mom'll understand if the only person I actually want to invite comes." he muttered.

Carmen shrugged, "I'll talk to Miguel and see if he's ready to talk it out with everyone there. Give me your phone number."

David wrote his number down on a pad of paper Carmen had on her nightstand and spoke to her, "I don't want Miguel knowing about us...if we even do become a thing."

"I don't think Miggy'll mind if I borrowed one of his sparring partners for some fun." Carmen hugged him from behind and nipped his earlobe.

David looked at her with a serious look on his face, "Carmen. I really like you, but I don't want things to be awkward between Mig and I."

"Of course." Carmen kissed him deeply and David spoke.

"I have to go, my mom'll get worried."

Carmen nodded and David held the door to her bedroom as he looked back at her, "I really enjoyed that, you made it very special. I'll see you around Carmen."

"See you around." Carmen smiled as David redressed himself on the way out of her apartment.

As he was re-zipping up his fly and putting his shirt on, David stepped out to see Johnny wearing a bathrobe picking up his newspaper.

Seeing David's disheveled brown hair and glowey demeanor as he stepped out of the apartment across the street from him, Johnny stood up from kneeling by picking up his newspaper.

"H-Hey Sensei..." David said, "Good morning."

Johnny eyed him up and down, taking a moment to respond, "Hey Mills...good mornin' to you too."

"Er...Sensei? I'd invite you to my birthday party today but Mr. LaRusso'll be there and I don't want you two...re-enacting any fights."

"Won't be re-enacting shit, don't worry kid." Johnny said.

David nodded, "S-See ya later Sensei."

He nodded back as David walked away to his car. Johnny grunted as he walked up to Carmen's door and prepared to use his fist to knock on it...but stopped himself and he gritted his teeth.

Johnny balled his fists as he walked back into his apartment. He hated to admit it but there was no other way to put it, he was jealous of his own student.

...

Robby rubbed his knuckles on David's head, "18 man! 18!"

"Stop!..." David pushed Robby away as his birthday party was in full swing around him, "Had enough sparring with you for one week."

Robby pushed David back and laughed, "So...your parents gonna buy you another car or something?"

"I don't care. Already got what I wanted."

Robby looked at David as he looked around his birthday swirling his drink of cola in his red cup, "S-Sorry what now?"

"Nothing. Didn't get laid last night...you were right!" David laughed and wrapped his arm around his friend as he re joined his party and checked his phone to see the text he got.

Sure enough, it was Carmen, and David tried his best to pay attention to all of Ali's doctor friends as he was on the edge of his seat about what Carmen would text to him next.

...

...

...


End file.
